Absolution
by Estrea
Summary: Hayate visits an old acquaintance, to put the past away. Forgiveness, they say, is a virtue. Character introspection, SAD. You have been warned.


Hayate Hayate Hayate, how can I forget thee Hayate? Lol. Decided that it just wasn't fair to keep writing about Fate and Nanoha, but neglect one of the Three Aces of the TSAB. So I decided, why not? Hayate is fun too. Besides, she gets the Wolkenritter as an entourage, which makes her automatically cool. Hehe.

Warning, some angst ahead, I think. Hayate is able bodied here, so I think I pin her to be around 14 years old in this fic.

Thanks for clarifying the meanings of the German words **Cyrus**, as well as the suggestions. Appreciate it. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Nanoha. Can I have Signum though? Chibi Reinforce is cute too. Hehe.

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**Absolution**

"So, this is the place huh?" Hayate mused aloud as she gazed at the medium-sized country house in front of her.

"Yes, Meister Hayate!" A little voice piped up beside her. Reinforce II, simply known as just "Reinforce" or even "Rein-chan", was essentially the consciousness or A.I. of her knight staff Schwertkruez, and was pretty much modelled in appearance after the earlier Reinforce, once known as the Book of Darkness. Hayate smiled at her partner device, before turning her head to glance at two of her loyal knights standing on either side of her.

"Thank you for coming along, Signum, Shamal. I appreciate the company, but I can take care of myself too now you know."

"It is our duty as your knights to protect you, my master." _Whether you like it or not_, Signum did not add, but it was clearly implied in her stiffly no-nonsense tone. Shamal smiled a little at her leader's overprotectiveness over their master, before looking a little worriedly at Hayate.

"Is it such a good idea to be here, Hayate-chan? I mean, considering what happened..." Shamal was cut off by Hayate's raised hand.

"I have my reasons Shamal." Hayate's eyes were clouded over with an unidentifiable emotion. "I need to talk to him. I just want to know..." She shook her head decisively. "I _need_ to know. Don't stop me, either of you. It's something I have to do to get it over with." Her eyes shone with determination as she turned to face her knights fully. "Trust me on this, I know what I'm doing." Blue eyes softened as she took in the concerned expressions of her knights. "Thank you, you two. Now wait here, I'll go in alone."

"But master/Hayate-chan!" Signum and Shamal protested at the same time. Signum took a step forward. "Let us go in with you! It might be dangerous!"

Hayate's eyes twinkled assuringly as she soothed the leader of her knights. "It's alright Signum. I can take care of myself. Ne, Rein?"

"I'll protect Meister Hayate!" The little A.I. puffed out her chest and pounded on the tiny book she carried firmly with her fist. Hayate chuckled and playfully prodded her partner in the side, causing her to squeal.

_Is it wrong of me to feel even more worried now?_ Signum communicated laconically in telepathy to Shamal, who shrugged helplessly even as she sweatdropped.

"Signum, that's mean." Hayate choked on a laugh as she caught the telepathic conversation easily enough. Being the master of her knights, she had no trouble listening in on them should she choose to. Chibi Rein pouted and floated up next to Signum, whacking the pink haired knight with her Book of the Heavens. "Signum is mean!"

Signum winced more at the rebuke than at the blow (after all, how much damage can Rein do with that tiny book?). _I keep forgetting Hayate can hear us_, she thought ruefully to herself. Before the knights could raise any more protests though, Hayate cut off all potential arguments with her 'killer line'.

"I hate to make it sound this way, but it's an _order_. Stay here unless I call for you," Hayate trailed off before looking sternly at Signum. "And no barging in with Laevantine blazing if I do ask you to come in." Signum hung her head sheepishly, feeling like a child in front of her young mistress. Hayate then grinned suddenly and patted Signum comfortingly on the shoulder.

"You're such nice children. I'm glad to have you around." Hayate smiled warmly. "I'll be fine, really."

"As you wish, my master." Signum mumbled reluctantly.

"Be careful, Hayate-chan!" Shamal fussed in her usual manner. Hayate flashed a nearly cocky grin as she winked back at them. Signum sighed almost inaudibly as she watched her master walk slowly towards the front door of the house in front of them..

"Suddenly I wish Vita and Zafira were here, that little hothead could probably pester our master into bringing us inside..." Shamal glanced at her leader with some amusement.

"I doubt Hayate-chan would have changed her mind though." The Knight of the Lake opined, tapping a finger against one cheek.

The crimson devil (as Signum was once known as) sighed again. "You're probably right." A pause. "I hope Vita's keeping out of trouble back at headquarters."

Shamal giggled. "Don't worry, Zafira's keeping an eye on her."

Signum made a face. "Once upon a time that would have reassured me. But Testarossa's guardian beast has been a bad influence on Zafira lately..."

Shamal looked at her long time partner knight with an amused gaze. "You worry too much Signum. Relax a little."

Folding her arms over her chest, Signum's face was expressionless and indifferent, a look she had practised for centuries. "Well _somebody_ has to." The leader of the Wolkenritter grumbled under her breath. Shamal laid a comforting hand on the stoic knight's shoulder without speaking, but then again, words weren't necessary for them, not after centuries of serving together. Signum's shoulders slumped a little as she relaxed unconsciously.

"I'm getting soft in my old age..." She muttered under her breath, pointedly ignoring the knowing smile on Shamal's face as she did so.

"Now, what's taking Master Hayate so long?"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Knocking on the door yielded no response, so Hayate shrugged and tried the knob.

Surprisingly enough, it opened. _An unlocked door?_ Hayate mused as she carefully stepped in, ready to transform at a moment's notice is necessary. Out of good faith she was currently in her civilian outfit, and it made it easier for her to blend in with normal people than if she were in her Bureau uniform. Plus, this was technically an unofficial visit, so she didn't want to be seen in her work clothes. Besides, she really wasn't supposed to be here at all.

"Sorry for intruding...!" She called out as she stepped over the threshold, feeling a tingle as she did so. _Hmm, magical sensors._ Out loud, she murmured. "Rein?"

The small figure was already at work. "I don't sense anyone coming at us Meister Hayate." The device reported after a moment.

"Well, be ready in any case." Even at her relatively young age, Hayate was already an experienced field investigations officer, and it was better to err on the side of caution than to risk anything. Walking slowly and carefully, she advanced down the spotless hallway, her senses, both magical and physical, alert to any danger.

It was almost too quiet. The atmosphere felt strange too, just the hint of magical forces still lingering like an aftertaste in the air. It made Hayate fidgety and uneasy. Maybe bringing in Signum and Shamal would have been a better idea...

It came without warning, and only honed reflexes and an inclination towards paranoia saved her from being caught in the magical bind trap set in at the end of the hallway leading to the main sitting room. Without even thinking, she activated her transformation wordlessly, her armour forming and settling into place within seconds, her staff landing lightly in one outstretched palm as she put up a barrier instinctively with the other.

There was, however, no follow-up assault as she had expected. Feeling a little confused at the strange turn of events, she looked around her cautiously, not dropping the barrier though. It wouldn't hurt to be too careful. But still, she really hated to be ambushed, especially since she didn't mean any harm in coming here in the first place.

Abandoning stealth, since she wasn't planning on sneaking in the first place, she called out more loudly this time.

"Excuse me, but is anyone home? I don't mean any harm..." A sudden flash of danger lit in her senses, and she instinctively ducked even as a fist hit empty air where her head used to be. Her attacker swore.

"Damn, I missed!" The voice was surprisingly youthful. Hayate blinked at the catgirl who had assaulted her from behind. "Aria!"

_What?_ Suddenly there was a familiar surge in magical energy, and Hayate was caught offguard when binds encircled her limbs. _Crap._ Quickly, Hayate responded to the situation.

"Rein!" She snapped sharply. The little A.I. nodded decisively.

**"Unison, In!"**

There was a bright flash of white light as Reinforce merged into her master's chest, followed by a mechanically female voice sounding.

_**"Bindung Unterbrecher."**_

The magical shackles pulsed, once, twice, then shattered violently outwards. As the white light faded, a blond mage with vividly electric blue eyes floated out, her cross-staff held out in a defensive-attacking posture.

_**"Frieren Fesseln!"**_

There were two surprised gasps as there were enveloped in ice from neck down. With an enigmatic smile on her face, Hayate landed lightly on the carpeted floor, looking at her mysterious assailants with a searching glance.

"Mind explaining why you attacked me?" Hayate asked in a deceptively friendly tone. She looked over at the other catgirl that had surprised her with the magical bind, who somehow still managed to look remarkably dignified despite being trapped in a block of ice. The long haired catgirl appeared to be staring at her with a strange expression on her face, as if trying to recall something.

"Well?" She glanced over at the other catgirl, who looked almost identical to the other one, except that she had short hair. She wasn't taking very well to being caught in a bind, literally, and was muttering all sorts of venomous curses in a variety of tongues as she struggled vainly to break out of her frozen prison.

"Excuse me, but might you be Yagami Hayate by any chance?" A refined voice asked. Hayate turned to look at the catgirl with longer hair. _Aria, was that what the other called her?_

"Yes, I am." No harm in answering, but Hayate kept her guard up. Paranoia? Maybe, but it kept one alive.

Aria's eyes lit up. "Ah, so you're _that_ girl..." A shadow seemed to pass fleetingly over her features, and she seemed almost guilty as she assessed the able-bodied mage in front of her. "I'm sorry we attacked you, we thought someone was here to hurt Father..."

The other catgirl burst out angrily. "Just let us out of here already!"

"Lotte!" Aria scolded. Then back at Hayate, "You came here to see Father?"

"If by 'Father' you mean Gil Graham, then yes." Hayate looked at the twin catgirls suspiciously as they exchanged glances.

"Then you know...?" Aria continued uncertainly, seeming almost worried as she studied Hayate's profile. Lotte was also staring intently at the blond knight master.

Hayate let out a sigh. "I came here to speak with him about..._that_. Don't worry," she hastened to add, "I only intend to talk, not hurt him or anything. Is he here?"

Aria and Lotte exchanged another long look, obviously communicating telepathically with each other. It was Aria who replied again.

"We'll take you to him, as long as you let us out." A pause. "Don't worry, we won't try anything." Aria's eyes were sorrowful. "We owe you too much for that."

Hayate considered for a moment, then raised her staff, breaking the icy binds with a single word. The twin catgirls fell numbly to their knees for a moment, before getting up and brushing themselves off, Lotte doing so more vigorously than Aria, clearly irritated at having been caught offguard earlier. Aria walked up to Hayate.

"Father's sitting out back. Come." With that, Aria, followed by Lotte, started moving to the back door of the house, with Hayate bringing up the rear, still wary.

The short walk to the back door was mostly silent, a silence that was soon abruptly broken by Lotte.

"We're sorry, you know." Hayate looked questioningly at the twitching tail in front of her, but Lotte didn't turn around to meet her eyes.

"We didn't really want to hurt your knights...but we thought it was the only way..." Aria whispered as she bowed her head. Hayate flinched at the memory, of despair, anguish, darkness and _madness_...she shook her head quickly to clear away those awful moments when she had first discovered that her beloved knights had been taken away from her.

They paused in front of the door. Aria turned to face her, her face hidden in shadow. "I know it's too much to ask you to forgive us, knowing what we wanted to do to you, but please don't think badly of Father..."

"He's a good man," Lotte murmured. "Father wanted to make sure tragedy didn't happen again...maybe what we did wasn't right, but we did what we thought was the only way to stop _it_."

"We're sorry." Aria said again. "It might not change anything, but we're still sorry. Please don't be too hard on Father, his health hasn't been good lately..."

Hayate was silent. To speak words of forgiveness, if only to soothe the conscience of the twin familiars in front of her, was surprisingly difficult. It may have been several years since that incident, but the pain of the memory still haunted her to this day. She was still deathly afraid of losing her knights, and still sought to protect them by becoming stronger herself, to spare them from fighting so hard for her sake. Hayate briefly wondered how Nanoha did it sometimes, always being so easy to trust and forgive others for their sins and mistakes. Hayate was not a petty person who held grudges, but forgiving these two who had once so cruelly ripped her beloved surrogate family away from her...that was an uphill task indeed.

"I..." The blonde mage paused, groping for the right words to express herself. "I don't know if I can forgive you right now," she started, and the twins winced, "_but_, I can try." Hayate sighed. "May I speak with Mr. Graham now?"

Aria's tail twitched lightly as she opened the door and stepped through it. "Here." Hayate hesitated, then with a sudden swirl, she dissolved her armour and dismissed her staff, reappearing in civilian clothes, her hair returning to its usual brown tint again. Aria and Lotte looked surprised at first, then they smiled.

"Thank you." Aria said as Hayate stepped out into the peaceful, breezy backyard. Hayate smiled slightly. "Least I can do."

It was late afternoon, a little cool, but not uncomfortably so. Winter was not long in coming, in the latter days of autumn, and it showed in the changing scenery surrounding the yard. It was quiet here, in an idyllic way that lulled the senses.

Gil Graham sat in a wicker chair, facing the empty expanse of countryside that extended from beyond the small country house. His hair had more silver in it now, and he seemed somewhat...smaller, and older, than Hayate had imagined. She approached quietly, her footsteps almost completely silent on the well-trimmed grass.

If Graham knew that she was coming up from behind him, he gave no indication of it. He simply continued staring off into the distance, lost, it seemed in his own world. The light cotton blanket that had been tucked securely about him slipped a little, but he did not pay attention to it.

Hayate had mixed feelings about the figure seated serenely in front of her. She knew him only in 2 ways: one, as the man who had supported her financially since for as long as she could remember; and two, as the man who had deliberately manipulated her life in such a way that he would be able to seal her along with the Book of Darkness into an unimaginable void. The two views conflicted with each other, and strangely, both opinions seemed ill-fitting with the image of this almost frail-looking old gentleman resting in his backyard, admiring the scenery.

"You've come, at last." Finally, the once-Admiral dropped the pretense of not knowing that she was there. Taking the cue, she rounded the back of the large wicker chair to stand before him, all the while remaining silent, not quite trusting herself to speak yet.

Graham looked at the young girl in front of him, remembering and mentally comparing the photos he had received of her with the reality before him. He was glad to see that she looked well, and even happier to see that she was walking again, but he did not voice those thoughts. A kind of palpable tension hung between the two of them, old and young, in the spring and autumn of their lives respectively.

"Don't you have something to say to me?" His voice was deep, even strong, a reminder that this man was once robust and healthy, a giant in a place where others were but mere ants, but if one listened closely, you could hear the weakness behind the facade, a kind of breathlessness and lack of energy invading that rich timbre. Aria had not been wrong when she said that Graham had been unwell, though he hid it well.

Hayate had had many things to ask him. All sorts of questions bounced within the vaults of her mind, but her tongue felt strangely numb. She wasn't sure where to start, or how to start, while talking with this man who was both benefactor and once-potential destroyer of her life.

Finally she just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Were you the one who left the Book of Darkness with me?"

Graham looked at her steadily, his lined face unreadable. Then with a sigh, he replied. "Yes..." Hayate's heart clenched suddenly, a strange feeling in her chest. "...and no." She blinked, unsure of what he was saying.

Looked at the baffled expression on her face, Graham continued, explaining. "Yes, because I had found that the Book of Darkness had re-corporealized and ended up in your possession fairly early on, but chose not to report it and have it taken away and destroyed. But I did not plant it with you in order to make you its master." Graham looked at her seriously in the eye. "The Book of Darkness chooses its own master, no one else can force it or influence its decision. You were chosen because the Book thought that you had the ability to handle it, and that was what led to the whole incident."

Hayate opened her mouth to speak, but Graham held up a hand to stop her. Continuing, he said. "Had the book chosen to reincarnate itself in a different world with a different master, and if I had found out early the same way I did with you, I would have proceeded with the same plans." He sighed, leaning back. "It was never a personal issue, at least it was not meant to be." He looked in her direction, but didn't seem to be looking _at_ her, instead, he looked as if he was looking right through her, as if she weren't even there.

"But you were different," he continued, eyes still lost in thought. "You were unlike all the previous masters of that accursed book. I hated knowing what I had to do to you, because you didn't deserve that fate at all." He smiled ruefully to himself. "Sometimes, I almost wish that like all the others before you, you would be evil and power-hungry, just to make it easier on my conscience when the time came to seal you."

"But I wasn't." Hayate said flatly. "And you were going to seal me anyway, weren't you?"

"Yes," Graham said without hesitation. "There seemed no other way, at least from what little we knew about the functions of the book." His eyes grew even more distant. "I am glad though, that it didn't turn out that way. Those youngsters...they're really something huh? Maybe there's a future for all of us, with them..."

Hayate felt a peculiar pang as she gazed at this elderly man in front of her. She still had one more question for him, just to satisfy her own curiosity.

"Why? Why did you support me financially, claiming to be my 'father's friend'?"

Graham closed his eyes briefly, before he refocused back on Hayate. "I was guilty, yes, that I was to put you through such a terrible fate, so I wanted to make it up to you somehow, let you live comfortably until the time came..." Hayate, having expected such an answer, nodded.

"But," Hayate tilted her head curiously to one side. Graham smiled faintly. "I must truly be getting old, to be saying this." He paused, shivering slightly, even though it was not all that cold, then continued. "I never had any children, you know. The Lieze twins are good, obedient children, almost like my own flesh and blood, but in the end, they're only my familiars, and it just isn't the same." A weary sigh escaped his lips. "If I had married and had children, and if they had children, they would be about your age." He smiled gently, a wistful look on his suddenly extremely aged face. "I guess I wanted a grandchild, or the feeling of something almost like one...I must be rambling again, am I? Maybe I'm really getting too old..."

Hayate felt a sudden warm flow of compassion towards Graham, suddenly seeing him as the regretful old man he had become, and not the manipulative caricature she had somehow painted in the back of her awareness. She saw him, a man with noble intentions, but had almost done the wrong thing because of them. She felt then, that she had to do _something_, for him.

"I forgive you."

Graham looked startled, his head jerking upwards as his hazy eyes searched her face for any hints of falsity. Hayate smiled kindly at the man who had supported her since she was a child, finding it easier than she thought to actually lay down the burden of withholding forgiveness. In a way, in forgiving Graham, she was consciously putting aside that painful piece of her past, consigning it to a part of her memory, and not leaving it as a constant thorn at the edges of her awareness. At this moment, she was not fully aware of the implications of what her action would do for her and for Graham himself, but it would be clearer to her in the future when she looked back to this moment.

"Thank you." The barest hints of tears edged the older man's eyes, and his whispered voice held immeasurable relief as he gazed at the young girl before him. If the youth were all as such, then there was hope for the future. He smiled at the very thought. _There was hope._

Hayate wanted to say many things, explain that no, _she_ was the one who had to be thankful. Graham may have had intended to do her harm, albeit somewhat reluctantly, by leaving the Book of Darkness with her, but it was this decision that had led to her meeting her beloved knights, and the subsequent events leading to her eventual meeting and becoming allies and ultimately, friends with Nanoha and Fate. It had been a long and painful journey, but she regretted none of what came to be. All those words hovered at the tip of her tongue, begging to be released, but she didn't know how quite to say them all. Eventually, she settled for the simplest solution.

"No, I thank _you_ instead." Hayate smiled and reached forward, covering his wrinkled hand with her youthful one. "Grandpa."

Graham gazed at her gratefully, a faint smile curling his lips. With a sigh, his eyes fluttered close, the most peaceful and content expression on his aged face.

Hayate held his hand for a while longer, then moved it to rest on his chest. Then, as gently and respectfully as she could, she pulled up the cotton blanket and tucked it securely around him. The old man slumbered on, dreaming of what, no one knew. Perhaps, a future held within the hands of such a one as he had just seen.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The setting sun glowed a simmering crimson, setting the sky ablaze, and drawing lengthening shadows across the ground.

A pair of identical twins sat side by side, caught in slumber, it seemed, next to the half-open door to the house. They did not move when the wind picked up, carrying with it the chill edge of coming winter. Fallen leaves swirled around the unswept yard, stirred by the sigh of the late autumn breeze keening across the empty countryside.

The sun was almost gone, twilight dimming the scene. The twins were no longer there by the door, as if they never had been.

An old man slept on, hands clasped before him, as if in prayer, as if in peace.

Night fell, at last, and with it came the first snow of the season.

In every end, a new beginning.

The snow went on falling.

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Well, read and review! 


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